“e-mail dari Riyadh”

This is… an e-mail from Riyadh”, she wrote….
Well … I have been researching online on questions and answers about Islaam … Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the law of Allaah … But there are some things as a human being that I feel like I can’t handle or I can’t tolerate, and I think that as human. I am not perfect, and I don’t expect Allaah wants me to be perfect. He knows my limitation, my hot button, my sore bit, my sensitive bit … so there are a pattern of answers that really makes me bitter …
Q1. My spouse can’t give me children …
A1. For men : Find another wife.
A2. For women : Be patient, why don’t you adopt ?
Q2. My spouse can’t satisfy me …
A1. For men : Find another wife.
A2. For women : Be patient, why don’t you talk to him and go to a doctor ?
Q3. My spouse is sick …
A1. For men : Find another wife
A2. For women : Be patient, it is very noble if you take care of your husband …
Q4. My spouse is growing old …
A1. For men : Find another wife.
A2. For women : Be patient (if she leaves for a younger husband now, people would think of her as a slut).
Q5. My spouse and I have so many children and can’t give me enough attention …
A1. For men : Find another wife.
A2. For women : Find another husband ? Ooooops !!!!! No …. be patient … why don’t you try to get a maidservant ?
See the pattern ?
As if the first thing a man would think if there is a problem in his marriage is too find a new wife, a younger wife, preferably a virgin. How many men marry widows and divorced women with children ? How many ? I want to know ?It’s as if there is nothing better for a man if he has a problem, then the answer would be to marry another woman. I am bitter. As if there is nothing that occupy a man’s mind but sex sex sex … nobody tell him to be patient and wait for his huroor al-ayn in Jannah … but for women, ha ha ha … if your husband marry again that is your way to Jannah …
Polygyny is a choice. Any woman can give her consent, does she wants to be involved in it or not. But many people would say that a woman is sinning if she asks for a divorce when her husband get married again. Yeah, like the pain of seeing your husband with another woman is not a ground for divorce ? I don’t think that’s fair.I don’t hate polygyny as the law of Allaah. But I don’t want that to happen to me. Yes, I was naive, I used to think l’ll be fine and I shouldn’t love my husband too much …Hey, maybe that’s what I should do … just stop loving my husband … ha ha ha … see about that … I would just do my duties as a wife but nothing more. And if the things get too tough, hey dude … I’m leaving …

Being in a polygyny is a way to reach Jannah, but that is not the ONLY way. And Allaah already give so many choices.

I don’t want to live my life miserably and then starting to be kufr on the ni’mah that Allaah has blessed me. If that happen, that is dude, I will bolt out the door in an instant. That is nothing in this world worth the wrath of Allaah. Not even your husband.

If he is the source of my fitnah and of my sins … I will leave him without turning back.

Sorry for the bitterness of this entry.

(dari :http://chocomuslimah.multiply.com/journal)

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Itu tadi e-mail, yang datang dari Riyadh, seorang muslimah. Sangat.. “seadanya”… menunjukkan realita tentang, kehidupan wanita pada umumnya….

Saya terus-terang gak bisa jawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu, karena… banyak kesedihan, kemarahan, kekecewaan atas “ketidak adilan” diantara wanita dan laki-laki, ada dibalik pertanyaan-pertanyaan tadi. Untuk saya, cukup saya percaya bahwa Allah itu sangat menyayangi tiap makhlukNYA (bagaimanapun kontribusi makhluk tersebut terhadap semesta alam). Allah sangat mengharapkan kebaikan untuk makhlukNYA, walaupun kadang-kala kebaikan itu seolah-olah dipandang sebagai keburukan.

Ya… memang tidak dipungkiri, ada saat-saat yang sangat “mengerikan” ketika pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu jadi kenyataan. Naudzu billa min dzalik. (Allah tidak akan memberikan “sesuatu” pada hambaNYA, bila dipandangNYA, makhluk tersebut tidak dapat menanggung beban tersebut. Haqul Yakin) Tapi… apakah dengan demikian itu akhir dari semuanya????

Pls… get up Ukhtifillah… Get up.

Ada cintaNya yang lebih pantas diraih dari cinta makhlukNYA. Cinta makhluk yang hanya bikin “penderitaan” tidak pantas diperturutkan. Biarkan saja “air mengalir” membawa kita dimuara jawaban, kita hanya bisa menunggu (dengan cucuran airmata saat bersimpuh dan bersujud), apa sesungguhnya yang Allah hendak “sampaikan” pada kita, melalui “rencana” ini……

Insya Allah Insya Allah…

I will give U my big hug, and hands, Ukhtifillah…. Insya Allah Insya Allah

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